Because I'm copying off Garragay....

A - Age: 22
B - Bed size: double, but hard as a rock.
C - Chore you hate: Opening the door. I have to go downstairs as the bell doesn't work yet.
D - Don't eat: Snails. I tried them recently and.... no, just no.
E - Essential start-your-day item: A cuppa
F - Favourite board game: Trivial Pursuit
G - Gold or Silver: Silver, cos I's gots its on ma fingers, yo.
H - Height: 180cm, according to my medical exam for work.
I - Instruments you play: Piano, Guitar, and the good old recorder. Nowt like it.
J - Job title: Check-in Agent (said in a Flemish accent)
K - Kid(s): Only if they don't shout, and only if they're related to me. Can't stand other people's kids.
L - Love or lust: Both (in agreement with Warragay)
M - Mum's name: Jeannine (note the foreign-ish spelling)
N - Nicknames: Cooper, raver, Dave the Rave, gay. You know the score....
O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Never. I cracked my head open once, but they just glued it up with cat gut. Ahh the good old days...
P - Pants or pantyhose: Pants, because I'm not sure what pantyhose are. Are they tights?
Q - Favourite Movie Quote: "You'll go down for this." "I only go down for a price, and I doubt that you could afford it."Julie Walters in Personal Services.
R - Right or left handed: Right. Because it's normal.
S - Siblings: One elder sister and one twin sister.
T - Time you wake up: Whenever I need/want to.
U - Underwear: Most of the time.
V - Vegetable favorite: At the moment, somewhere between a courgette and a mushroom.
W - Ways you run late: Public transport. Belgium just doesn't work in general...
X - X-rays you've had: Teeth x-rays. That's about it.
Y - Yummy food you make: Chilli con carne, and I do a good curry, being from Bradford and all....
Z - Zoo favourite: Don't often go to zoos, but maybe will make a trip to Antwerp zoo. Or maybe Chester zoo!

Берлин

Dag allemaal!

So it's been a while, but only because my internet has stopped working chez moi, so I haven't had nearly enough time to update the old blog on my happenings.  The title of this blog is "Berlin", written in Russian/Cyrillic - I was simply curious as to what it would look like.

As previous posts indicate, I went to Berlin to visit some friends. That's Lukas (Looookas).

It was simply fabulous. However, not fabulous in the way that I expected. It was quite quite different to the Berlin I had created in my head - crazy people with purple hair and nose rings everywhere, artists and hippies lining the streets, grungy electro clubs and shit loads of currywurst.  All stereotypes I'm sure you wouldn't have to try very hard to find, but nevertheless it is always refreshing to find that this is not the mainstream.  I guess I know that stereotypes that apply to a majority are rarely realised when you visit a country/city, but it's always nice to not be so educated (by yourself or taught) about a place before you go there, and just be innocently surprised and enlightened. Put simply; don't read too many guide books, just enjoy it.

I thought of this as we were cycling on the runways of the old Tempelhof Airport one day - it felt great to be enjoying such a wide open space on a sunny (yet excessively windy) day, bang smack in the middle of the city. It also made me realise that I'm glad that I have various friends dotted around the world - it's nice to go and spend time with them and do the things that they do, sampling their lifestyle alongside all the great sightseeing we enjoy as tourists.

Windsurfing on the runways at Zentralflughafen, as you do. You can see the ball tower in the distance.

On the Friday night, we went to Lukas' flat for a barbecue (cold but the sun had been shining) which was fabulous. We drank and ate and I spoke terrible German, but more of that later. Holly came over (a friend from uni who also lives there now) and got suitably fresh and had a great catch up.  Afterwards we adjourned to a club not far away. A great little place in someone's cellar, you had to walk through this old living room and downstairs. As we walked in a 30s style cabaret band was just finished and then the dj started up playing similar music. It was great! It was old fashioned music but it had a great beat behind it which just made you want to dance, and not even in some "alternative/ironic/look-at-me-I'm-different" douche bag kind of way, it was just good music. It slowly developed into some deep/tech house which was cool and the we spent the rest of the night dancing. I met some nice people who I am sure I will never meet again, but I will remember this girl's cool red hair. I remember being told to make sure I was quiet with Holly outside, as the place didn't have a licence and had been shut down once already. Fab. 

If you want to go here, ask Lukas or Catherine.

The next day Catherine and I went for a walk and visited the Berlin Gallery, as there was a new photo exhibition on from a photographer who took some cool photos in New York and Berlin during various points in the late 20th century (I know that's recent-ish but it's easier than saying "between the 60s and 2000s/noughties/whatever the hell we call them). That night we went over to one of their friends' flats for a birthday meal - we brought brownies, which we named "chocolate squares" as they were too much like cake. After eating a very tasty risotto and other things, we spent the evening drinking and talking and listening to music. I spoke a shit load of terrible German this time, but only because at the beginning of the evening, it was clear that I was the only one there that wasn't German/had studied German. I remember thinking that I could sit here and wait for someone to speak English, or I could just get on with it and have some fun with it. It felt like when I started my year abroad and felt that I couldn't speak a word of French or Spanish despite having studied it, which is, contrary to how it sounds, extremely invigorating and stimulating. I enjoyed that evening a lot and reminded me that I do have the balls to just go for things, as lately I feel like I have been holding myself back (only slightly) from certain things. So big up to Deutschland and the guys at the party for making me feel welcome and speaking some German with me!

The last day was spent cycling at the Zentralflughafen as I mentioned before, then in a cafe with coffee and bagels.

Catherine and I then went for a cycle along the canal (the weather was beautiful the whole time I was there) before stopping off for the rest of the afternoon in a bar for a extended catch up and gossip. 

That evening we went for some great tapas with Holly at Maria Mulata and then on to a bar across the road for the rest of the night. The hangover kicked in on the plane the next morning, by the way.

Thanks to Catherine, Lukas, Holly and everyone who showed me a lovely time there. I can't wait to go back. Eurovision party chez Foster is calling...

"Me love you long time..."

I was watching clips of American Dad (link to episodes here) on Youtube (I'm chilling out before I set of to Berlin) and watched this particular clip of Roger (my favourite character) as Laura van der Booben:

Anyway, I wanted to know what the song was when he walked through the office, and I found it.

I wasn't sure if the lyrics were actually real or not, but they are - and I think you should have a listen... all the way through, as it gets better/worse as it goes on, depending on your personal music/lyrical tastes. Enjoy.

Also, the names of the rappers are hilarious. So 90s it's not funny.

<sample from Full Metal Jacket>
What'll we get for ten dollars?
Every 'ting you want
Everything?
Every'ting
Ooh! Don't do that, baby! Ahh!
Hold on this! Oh, sock it to me! Aaahh!
Ooohh!
</sample from Full Metal Jacket>

Chorus (repeated):
<sample from Full Metal Jacket>
Ahh! Me so horny!
Me love you long time!
</sample from Full Metal Jacket>

Verse 1: [Brother Marquis]
Sittin' at home with my dick on hard
So I got the black book for a freak to call
Picked up the telephone, then dialed the 7 digits
Said, "Yo, this Marquis, baby! Are you down with it?"
I arrived at her house, knocked on the doo
rNot having no idea of what the night had in store
I'm like a dog in heat, a freak without warning
I have an appetite for sex, 'cause me so horny

Chorus

Verse 2: [Fresh Kid Ice]
Girls always ask me why I fuck so much
I say "What's wrong, baby doll, with a quick nut?"
'Cause you're the one, and you shouldn't be mad
I won't tell your mama if you don't tell your dad
I know he'll be disgusted when he sees your pussy busted
Won't your mama be so mad if she knew I got that ass?
I'm a freak in heat, a dog without warning
My appetite is sex, 'cause me so horny

Chorus

Verse 3: [Brother Marquis]
You can say I'm desperate, even call me perverted
But you say I'm a dog when I leave you fucked and deserted
I'll play with your heart just like it's a game
I'll be blowing your mind while you're blowing my brains
I'm just like that man they call Georgie Puddin' Pie
I fuck all the girls and I make 'em cry
I'm like a dog in heat, a freak without warning
I have an appetite for sex, 'cause me so horny.

Chorus
Breakdown(4x):
<sample from Full Metal Jacket>
Ahh! Hold on this! Oh, sock it to me!
</sample from Full Metal Jacket>

Chorus

Verse 4: [Fresh Kid Ice]
It's true, you were a virgin until you met me
I was the first to make you hot and wetty-wetty
You tell your parents that we're goin' out
Never to the movies, just straight to my house
You said it yourself, you like it like I do
Put your lips on my dick, and suck my asshole too
I'm a freak in heat, a dog without warning
My appetite is sex, 'cause me so horny

Chorus
Breakdown (repeated):
<sample from Full Metal Jacket>
Fuckie suckie. Me fuckie suckie.
</sample from Full Metal Jacket>

Eurovision is calling...

So I made a really big plate of stir-fry, as I was in dire need of some vegetables. I've been unable to concentrate properly so I thought some vitamins etc. would do the trick.

May it also be noted that I am currently watching "Cloverfield" on 2BE.

It.            Is.            Shite.

Anywho, I've otherwise been entertaining myself with Eurovision videos. I've been checking out a few of the entries and here are some of my picks - good and bad. I'll let everybody else decide which are good and bad...

I like this one - it was about the first one I heard. But great Eurovision dance pop!

A favourite of mine - reminds me of my year abroad in Valencia. Probably the accordion sounding thingamibob.

Italy, not the best comeback. In fact that's too polite. It's just shit. Stop trying so hard, Italy - it's EUROVISION!!

Belgium on the other hand, bless them, not trying hard enough. I blame the government. Oh, wait...

Still better than the Netherlands with "Je vecht nooit allen", which I shan't even bother to post. No. Just no.

Glen Vella of Malta, flying the rainbow flag. FINALLY, a song with a key change!

I just don't know what's going to happen with this. 

Frightful as it is, I can imagine it doing better than Blue, probably because Blue are going to choose to sing live, rather than leave it to backing singers like real modern Eurovision performers. 

However, I will probably dedicate a whole post to the UK's entry. Anything's got to be better than Josh Dub-whatever.

"Just you wait until you read the shit on you I'm gonna blog about..."

The title of this entry is addressed to Belgium, where bureaucracy reigns supreme.

I just got off the phone with my mutualiteit, the Federatie van Socialistische Mutualiteiten van Brabant. It was pleasant enough to be given the choice of speaking in French or Dutch (I chose Dutch, after intending to speak in French for some bizarre reason I'm not fully aware of), and I only got passed from one department to another.

After waiting for little over a month now for my SIS-kaart, which I need for work to fully validate my contract, I decided enough was enough and thought it best to phone up and enquire about how my application was progessing. It turns out everything they had asked me to send was there, but it was simply not being dealt with and the poor girl on the other end of the phone said she didn't know why.

At this point let it be noted that I began my application for my health insurance in December. Since then I have had to restart my application once and had to resend forms in addition that weren't fully completed by my employer.

However, she did promise me that she would personally see to it now and I should have my details and member card by the end of the week. JA!!

It's just so silly how I had to phone up to get them to simply finish processing my application! I'm happy that things are being done (although we will wait and see if it actually does arrive by the end of the week), but midly peeved at the sillyness. Now for my next mission: Stad Brussel/Ville de Bruxelles - WHERE is this twatty piece of paper confirming my address? Just so you know, Tom (Basia's housemate who I lived with while I was looking after Basia's dog, Charlie) also went to the counter at the town hall at exactly the same time as me in January and his address is changed completely. I, on the other hand am still in regio-limbo, somewhere between Vlaanderen and Brussel Hoofdstedelijk Gewest. The police came to see him the next day to check his address, whereas I had to wait about 2 weeks. GRRRRRRR

Anywho, as long as I get my health insurance sorted I will be happy - so I can stop being careful when crossing roads/operating heavy machinery etc.

The land that Government forgot.

"Remember, all that takes to kill a man, is one well aimed blow..."

A line from the BBC drama about Merlin (I think it's called "Merlin" or something) which is being shown on 2BE. I know this because I now have TV! That line is a quote as well, no joke.

Paul came round today with a long cable so we could connect the TV. I've programmed it, but unfortunately there are far too many French-speaking channels for my liking. Nevermind, 2BE shows Glee tonight at 19.45 and that's Dutch-speaking so it won't be dubbed over :)

I just made wedges, and I am eating these as I type. Very tasty indeed, especially with the Curry ketchup.  I did plan to do some laundry today, but I'm having one of those lazy days. After work yesterday I went to meet up with friends as it was Nebojsa's birthday. They had been for a meal at Publico (a lovely little place I took my sisters to) and I met them there for a few glasses of bubbly after I had finished work before going on to Belgica. It was really crowded but we had a laugh, and later we then went onto the Box for a boogie.

I have some great photos from last night, most if not all of which will not be making it to Facebook or this blog as they are truly frightful, with many unintended upskirt shots.

Anywho, only two more days of work on Monday and Tuesday, then I'll be off to Berlin on Thursday. It will be so nice to see Catherine and Lukas, and I hope to see Holly and other Lucas.

I got paid yesterday, which made me happy as I can start paying off my debts. I just owe Jen and my Mum and Dad some dough, which I should have paid off within a month. It's hard at the moment as I'm only working part-time and only have enough to pay my rent and live quite comfortably. However, this doesn't allow me to save any money which is what I want to do, so maybe I can go and travel a bit next year. I'm so excited for Sarah and Jordan to go and see the world and can't wait to be able to do it myself. It's wierd though as I get paid here in two installments: a voorschot or "advance" of around 30% (I think) at the end of the month, then I get the rest on the first friday of the next month - so I get the rest of my wage on Friday while I'm in Berlin. Sorted. Although it's a bit of a silly way of being paid. I don't know anywhere else that pays in this way, although my old part time job at Woolies used to be a bit complicated when working out the overtime. Nevermind, it's Belgium after all. Nothing ever seems simple.

Which brings me to how pissed off I am about STILL not having recieved my SIS Kaart OR my address confirmation from the town hall. Belgium is really pissing me off in regards to this. I'm going to have to phone up my mutualiteit to ask them what the hell is going on, which isn't going to make me happy.

Oh yeah, and we still don't have a government. Joke.

The Daily Mail. Bigots? Or just following the rules?

After Jan Moir's beautiful homage to Stephen Gately, you'd have thought they'd have learned their lesson over at the Daily Outrage. So how does The Daily Mail keep offending people? Well according to the PCC, it does, but it's not against their rules.

Here's an e-mail I recieved today, after complaining about an article by Melanie "Bigot-face" Phillips. I read on www.dailymail.co.uk.

date Wed, Feb 23, 2011 at 1:10 PM subject PCC Complaint: Various v Daily Mail

Further to our previous correspondence, the Commission has now made its assessment of your complaint under the Editors’ Code of Practice.

The Commission members have asked me to thank you for giving them the opportunity to consider the points you raise.  However, their decision is that there has been no breach of the Code in this case. A full explanation of the Commission’s decision is attached.

Although the Commissioners have come to this view, they have asked me to send a copy of your letter to the editor so that he is aware of your concerns.

If you are dissatisfied with the way in which your complaint has been handled you should write within one month to the Independent Reviewer, whose details can be found in our How to Complain leaflet or on the PCC website at the following link:

http://www.pcc.org.uk/about/whoswho/charter_commissioner.html

Thank you for taking this matter up with us.

Yours sincerely

Commission’s decision in the case of

Various v Daily Mail

The Commission received over sixty five complaints about the article “Yes, gays have often been the victims of prejudice. But they now risk becoming the new McCarthyites”. Virtually all the complainants found it to be discriminatory towards homosexual people, and many considered it to be highly offensive.

A number of complainants raised additional concerns that the article was in breach of Clause 1 (Accuracy) of the Code. Several believed that the columnist had failed to distinguish clearly between comment, conjecture and fact, while others considered that some of her statements were either incorrect or misleading.

Firstly, the Commission fully acknowledged the complainants’ concerns about the article and accepted that many readers strongly disagreed with the views expressed by the columnist about attitudes to homosexuality and her position on matters relating to equality. However, under the terms of Clause 1 (Accuracy) of the Code, newspapers are entitled to publish the views of individuals – however robust or controversial – provided that they are clearly distinguished from fact. The article had clearly been presented as a comment piece both in the print edition of the newspaper and on its website, and it was satisfied that readers would be aware that the article reflected the personal opinions of the columnist. It considered that the assertions that the introduction of references to homosexual people was intended to “brainwash children”, that they were being “bombarded” by such references, that there was a “gay agenda” and that there was a “concept of normal sexual behaviour” were clearly presented as representing her own, candid opinions, and it did not consider that readers would be misled into understanding that there was an established “gay agenda” or “ruthless campaign”. Similarly, while it comprehended the complainants’ objections to the claim that such references were “an abuse of childhood”, it did not consider readers would understand this to be anything but her own views on the matter. The Commission was satisfied that readers generally would be aware that these assertions did not amount to statements of fact, but rather the columnist’s robust views.

A number of complainants considered that the article was misleading, particularly in regard to the reporting of the introduction of references to homosexuals in school subjects. They pointed out that this was an initiative suggested as part of LGBT History Month and not, as implied, a permanent addition to the national curriculum or an obligatory exercise. The complainants considered that this should have been made clear. The Commission acknowledged the complainants’ concerns that the context of these references was relevant. However, it considered that readers would be aware that the purpose of the article was not to give a full explanation of such measures – it was not a news article – but rather for the columnist to express her views on them. It noted that the article contained relatively little information about the introduction of the references to issues relating to homosexuality and, in the absence of information, it did not consider that readers would be misled into understanding that such measures were to be adopted permanently as part of the national curriculum. That these references were part of a “Government-backed drive to promote the gay agenda” was, in the view of the Commission, clearly the columnist’s opinion based on the grant issued by the Training and Development Agency for Schools. It could not establish a breach of Clause 1 (Accuracy) on this point.

Some complainants were also concerned that the reference to the reports carried out by the Department for Transport and the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs had also been taken out of context. Given that the complainants had not expressed concern that the references were inaccurate or explained on what grounds they considered the references to be misleading, the Commission could establish a breach of Clause 1 of the Code on this point. In any case, it generally only considers complaints from those directly affected by the matter about which they complained. In this instance, it would require a complaint from the representative of either the Department for Transport or the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs in order to establish whether they considered that their reports had been misrepresented.

Three complainants had expressed further concern over the statement that Catholic adoption agencies and marriage registrars had been “forced to shut down” after refusing to place children with same-sex couples. Bearing in mind the requirements of anti-discrimination laws, the Commission did not consider the assertion that they had been forced to close down was significantly misleading as to the situation. The statement was not in breach of the Code.

In regard to the complainants’ concerns that the article should have made clear that the Bulls’ actions were against the law, the Commission noted that the article made clear that they had fallen “foul of the law”. It did not consider that readers generally would understand from the columnist’s view on the matter that the Bulls’ actions had been lawful, but rather that the columnist considered that they had merely been “upholding Christian values”. In regard to the claim that the Bulls had been “sued”, given that the couple were claiming damages under the Equality Act, it did not consider that readers would be significantly misled. Similarly, the Commission did not consider that the absence of reference to Dr Raabe’s comments in regard to homosexuality and paedophilia would mislead readers. Given that the article made clear that there were objections to his appointment due to his views on homosexuality, the Commission did not consider that the absence of further information would mislead readers as to the situation. It could not establish a breach of Clause 1 (Accuracy) of the Code.

Two complainants claimed that the reference to male animals that take a leading role in raising young children was not a reference to homosexuality. The Commission noted that the columnist had been giving examples of suggestions as part of LGBT History Month. The complainant had not expressed concern that the columnist had incorrectly reported these suggestions – but rather objected to the suggestion in itself – and therefore the Commission could not establish a breach of the Code on this point.

The complainants were predominantly concerned that the article discriminated against homosexual people, and implied that their sexual orientation was abnormal and inferior to heterosexuality. Two complainants also expressed similar concerns about  the article the following week “The calls for me to be killed this week prove the bedrock values of our society are in grave danger”. The Commission understood the grounds for the complaints. However, it made clear that, while Clause 12 (Discrimination) prevents newspapers from making prejudicial or pejorative reference to an individual’s sexual orientation, it does not cover comments about groups or categories of people. Given that the complainants considered that the articles discriminated against homosexual people in general, the Commission could not establish a breach of Clause 12 (Discrimination) of the Editors’ Code of Practice.

Some complainants were concerned that the article discriminated specifically against Steven Preddy and Martin Hall. The Commission considered that it would require the direct involvement of these individuals, or their official representative, in order to establish whether they considered that the article had discriminated against them. In the absence of such involvement, it could not comment on this matter further.

One complainant looked to engage Clauses 4 (Harassment), 5 (Intrusion into grief or shock) and 6 (Children), however, she had not explained specifically on what grounds she considered that they had been breached. There had been no suggestion that the journalist had behaved in such a manner as to engage Clause 4, and the Commission did not consider that the article intruded into an individual’s personal grief or shock in such a way that would amount to a breach of Clause 5 of the Code. Clause 6 (Children) was designed to protect the private lives of children from intrusion by the press. Given that the article did not make reference to a particular child, it could not establish a breach of the Code.

Finally, the Commission fully understood that the complainants had found the article to be highly offensive. However, it made clear that the terms of the Editors’ Code of Practice do not address issues of taste and offence. The Code is designed to address the potentially competing rights of freedom of expression and other rights of individuals, such as privacy. Newspapers and magazines have editorial freedom to publish what they consider to be appropriate provided that the rights of individuals – enshrined in the terms of the Code which specifically defines and protects these rights – are not compromised.  To come to an inevitably subjective judgement as to whether such material is tasteless or offensive would amount to the Commission acting as a moral arbiter, which can lead to censorship. It could not, therefore, comment on this aspect of the complaints further.

The red section marks my 'lols' at how sad this response is. It seems that as long as we don't attack individuals, we can say what we like and incite hatred in society by attacking a whole group of people. A group of people who in some parts of the world are still imprisoned, killed and even tortured in horrifying ways for being who they are. Pathetic.